155780

Joke of the Day

"So they made the essay optional for the new SAT test... but isn't the SAT without the essay just the T"

"Picture someone you think is kinda/sorta attractive. Now picture them holding a pizza box."

"Last night, my sexy Japanese friend asked me out for dinner. ""Hey, you wanna go for sushi? It's on me."" It's funny 'cause I paid the bill."

"ADELE: hello from the outside ME (closing blinds): a restraining order means nothing to that woman"

"A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can't even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea."

"You haven't seen a woman overreact until you've told a woman she's overreacting."

"Why is Cam Newton's house so dirty? He doesn't pick up after himself."

"Just made eye contact with an old guy as he slowly licked an ice cream cone. Great, like I don't have enough shit keeping me up at night."

"Why can't you tell knock knock jokes about freedom? Because freedom rings"