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Joke of the Day

"What is large, grey and sings great jazz songs? Elephants Gerald"

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"Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better."
"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting."
"What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening? An Irishman trying to get a tan."
"Most Offensive Joke Ever People say that there's safety in numbers. Yeah? Tell that to 6 million Jews."
"So, I've recently started a whiskey diet... I've lost three days already."
"Oh, what? Sorry. I was trying to imagine you with a personality. "
"Admit it, no one really knows how to use the memory function on a calculator. We're all just too embarrassed to ask now."
"What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin"
"Why does Mel Gibson never order a French Dip at a restaurant? Because it comes with Au Jus."