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Joke of the Day

"Admit it, no one really knows how to use the memory function on a calculator. We're all just too embarrassed to ask now."

"Brad Pitt and I had a handsome contest and the loser had to adopt a bunch of kids."

"Me, to all my kids before the age of 2. ""No screens allowed."" On their 2nd birthday, handing over iPad. ""This is your mother now."""

"TIFU by not having a picture of my pet ready on my cake day. What were you expecting to see here?"

"If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear? A Baa-Homburg!"

"Have you seen the new interview of John Cena? Yeah me neither.........."

"DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: Depends on what you mean by active. There are plenty of active volcanos that haven't gone off in years"

"What do we want? CLICKBAIT! When do we want it? The answer will shock you... ***** Edit: There was this one weird typo that doctors don't want you to know about."

"Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!"

"What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!"