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Joke of the Day

"[asking a girl out] ME: So do you have a dog? HER: Yes, I do. She's very playful. ME: *nervously* Do you know if she's busy later?"

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"Why do women like to be on top during sex? Because they're over cum with joy."
"What do you call a drug-addicted vampire? Crackula"
"Don't give the homeless money. They'll just use it on sharpies and cardboard."
"Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very large bill."
"Just joined Anonymous Anonymous. This time I'm serious about breaking my addiction to hacking government websites."
"Have you heard of the hysterical TIE fighter squadron? ... lol lol lol lol ..."
"What do you call a sassy criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"What's the difference between a condom and the congress? You can only fit one dick inside a condom."
"So I met this gorgeous girl... ...and I was sucking her cock last night when I thought to myself ""Hey, wait a minute!"""