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Joke of the Day

"Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!"

"My penis is so polite... It stands up so girls have a place to sit down."

"Who was the roundest knight at the King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference"

"Adding Blonde Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"How did the musician catch his fish? He castanet"

"Old people at weddings poke me and say ""Your next"". So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"Why did the firefly keep stealing things ? What goes ""snap crackle and pop"" ? A firefly with a short circuit !"