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Joke of the Day

"How did the musician catch his fish? He castanet"

"A bought my girlfriend bondage supplies as a gag gift She was at a loss for words"

"Psyched for the new Rihanna/Chris Brown songs! Haven't been this excited since Hitler & Anne Frank's duet, ""Chillax, Haterz!"""

"A guy who doesn't believe in global warming is swimming in Egypt... He's in de-nile"

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"What does Mrs. Potato Head call her husband's penis? The Dick-tater."

"Do zombies eat donuts with their fingers? No, they usually eat their fingers separately."

"Most women would be happy to be woken up on their birthday with breakfast in bed, flowers and 20 minutes of great oral sex! But Oh no! Not my sister!"

"Seriously Alejandro, stop calling Gaga. I think she's made it pretty clear she's not interested and frankly you can do better."

"Why did EA cross the road? BUY THE SEASON PASS TODAY TO FIND OUT!"