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Joke of the Day
"Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody."
Next Joke
"Ever hear about the farmer who bought a tractor with no seat and no steering wheel? Apparently he lost his ass and had no place to go....."
"Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite ...because all the others could not be positively identified."
"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."
"My wife told me her period was lasting several days longer than normal. I said, Sounds more like an ellipsis..."
"What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop? Disappointed."
"What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars? Date Simon Cowell."
"What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !"
"Wow, I must look really hot tonight working out, everyone is totally staring at me. *walking on treadmill with a candy bar and a Pepsi"
"Why are New Yorkers so depressed?? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."