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Joke of the Day

"Do you need a bag? I had just bought a box of condoms when the cashier asked, ""Do you need a bag?"" I replied, ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"As a grown woman with no children or morals to slow me down, I will have a definite advantage during tomorrow's family Easter egg hunts."

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because he wasn't born yesterday"

"Why is poop tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut!"

"Don't worry, you are safe Zombies eat brains"

"Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please."

"How do you make a hormone? Kick her in the shin."

"Indian Chief My friend got an Indian Chief tattooed on his arm. His arm never worked again!"

"What happens when you combine an alpha particle and a beta particle? They become alpha-beta-cle"

"What do you call the area where a horse lives? The NEIGHHHHHHborhood"