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Joke of the Day

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

"I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding."

"What is the difference between a Siberian husky and an Alaskan husky? About 1500 miles."

"The best gifts in life will never be found under a Christmas tree! Those gifts are friends, family, kids and the one you love!!"

"(Shaq wakes up, steps in front of the green screen in his bedroom, knocks out 20-30 commercials, begins his day.)"

"Theresa nothing worse about a breakup than your ex's name autocompleting whenever you type a word that starts with Theresa same letters"

"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."

"If someone who knows several languages is multi-lingual, someone who knows two is bilingual, what is a person who only knows one? Average American"

"Oh no sir, that shark wasn't attacking me, my wife was yelling at me from the shore so I was just trying to swim into his mouth."

"I'm worried about my girlfriend recently... I'm always worried if shes eating well, sleeping well, or if she exists at all."