25151

Joke of the Day

"My favorite joke: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!"

Next Joke
 
"Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?"
"If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation."
"A wife is worried about her body... Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
"Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic."
"I went to a peanut factory last week. It was nuts!"
"Ever had that feeling where you just want to jump right out of bed? Me neither."
"The Planets 71% water + 29% land = Earth 100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars 100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus 100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury 100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto 100% gas = Uranus"
"Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM."
"What did the lumberjack say to the trees? Run, Forest, run!"