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Joke of the Day

"That's the difference between tech support and a mass shooter? One is a troubleshooter, while the other is a troubled shooter."

"What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? ""The girls get older, but he stays the same age"" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)"

"RISE & SHINE ** Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!**"

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes"

"When the president is lonely what does he say? I'm Obama-self."

"What's the difference between six dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke."

"Taking pictures with an iPad is the new fanny pack."

"I can't believe that they only taught us abstinence during sex ed! It's inconceivable!"

"What's a Pedophile's favorite brand of shoe? White Vans"

"I recently bought myself the new Obama gun. It won't work and you can't fire it."