15026

Joke of the Day

"She told me my analogies didn't make any sense. It seriously made me feel like a biscuit in an elevator."

"Nixon: ""I bet you can't run a more scandal-ridden presidency than me"" ""Hold my beer"" ""Sure.. Wait this isnt beer"""

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"Interested in: ( ) men ( ) women (X) food"

"Chatting of Computers What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101"

"Nobody can negotiate like a 4 year old told he has 2 minutes til bed."

"So.. I woke my gf up with oral sex this morning -Oh wicked, what'd she say? -Thtoph, thtoph!"

"A man sat on a baguette pointy end up. He claimed it was ""a pain in the ass""."

"What does /r/jokes and the iPhone vs FBI case have? Both just got hacked"

"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."