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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who is open with their kids about their sex change? Transparent"

"Constipated Mathematician Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"What happens on Santa's lap......stays on Santa's lap."

"Girl finds out that she's pregnant... And goes to tell her mum about it. Her mum asks; ""Have you had a check-up?"" Girl says; ""No, he was Polish"""

"In Liverpool, you'll never walk alone. There will always be other visitors to the city who've had their cars stolen, too."

"This jokes called, ""Chumbawama"" and it starts out really nice, but if you want to know the punch-line..... Hey...buy the rights."

"Where can you go to send a soul to heaven? An abortion clinic."

"A crazy looking girl threatened to punch me because I kept playing Taylor Swift on the Jukebox. I knew she was Trouble when she walked in."

"If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what is outside? K9P."

"Lady at the dollar store checked to see if my $20 was fake. Like if I could counterfeit money I'd be shopping at the dollar store."