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Joke of the Day
"Congrats to #LeonardoDiCaprio on his first Best Actor Oscar. You can stop sacrificing goats now."
Next Joke
"@realDonaldTrump the 1930s called, they said ""great idea."""
"What do bulls do math with? A cow-culator! (Cue groans)"
"Anne Has A Problem Anne Has A Solution Anne Has A Will Anne Hathaway"
"My bedtime is 9:11pm... So I never forget."
"They say snapple is made from the best stuff on earth... But that's bullshit; I looked at the ingredients, I didn't see pussy or beer anywhere."
"Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased"
"Don't have phone sex You might get hearing aids."
"My toddler was arrested today at kindergarten during nap time. He was charged with resisting a rest."
"Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records."