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Joke of the Day

"Two roommates were arguing... About who gets to use the microwave first. Then things started getting heated."

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a car accident? A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out."

"I wish I was a girl So I can use my menstruation cycle as my calendar."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seat belt."

"Everyone keeps telling me... Everyone keeps telling me ""There are plenty of fish in the sea"" and I keep telling them ""NO way in hell, I am gonna fuck a fish"""

"Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore? A: Yeah they were Bill Clinton."

"Why do nymphomaniacs like submarines? Because they're long, hard and full of seamen."

"Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?"

"Pro Tip: Make sure you're physically fit when arguing with a mime. They speak the language of the body."

"Yo'moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck"