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Joke of the Day
"""Nice to meet you,"" she said, meeting me for the third time"
Next Joke
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust A guns only weakness is Obama and rust."
"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip. I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."
"How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems? The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper."
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed face first"
"Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ""Dam."""
"My wife and I rented Black Hawk Down last night. Or, as Brian Williams likes to call it, the Brian Williams Story."
"Hormonal teenage daughter: Where do you want to be buried? Me: You mean after I die, right?"
"The past, present and the future started fighting. It was in*tense*"
"Fact that will blow your mind away. Did you know that Oprah Winfrey contains enough air that it can be used to inhabit life on Mars by creating an atmosphere."