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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who strictly prefers white rice over brown rice? A goddamn riceist"

"We should all be donating more to mental health charities It really is *fundamental*."

"Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor."

"I found a dog (no joke). If he's yours let me know. Male german shepherd. I am teaching him how to use a gun and drive a motorcycle."

"Did you guys hear the news? Apparently Donald Trump is a cuck."

"Toast at a Wedding ""May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."" That's an Irish toast. ""Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup."" That's a French toast."

"[painting a picture of the last supper] ""Who's that?"" ""Darth Vader."" ""Was he 1 of Jesus disciples?"" ""I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."""

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish person? None"

"BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes."

"Did you hear about the joke about the broken pencil? Well, there-- Nevermind, it's pointless."