155348

Joke of the Day

"My Phone autocorrected ""wish you were here"" to ""wish you were beer"" and I sent it anyways"

"Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?"

"I almost killed my whole family last night, but eventually chose not to let my wife drive."

"President of Columbia has announced that the country is going into severe economic depression... ...since the deaths of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston."

"What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg? Marked down!"

"Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv? Because in space, no one can hear you stream."

"I cut my finger on a beer can last night. Now I know how Julius Caesar felt when he was betrayed by his best friend."

"I was going to confess to this girl, until I found out that... Oops, wrong sub. Was meant to post this on /r/atheism."

"What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"How do you play Taliban bingo? B-52...F-16...B-1.."