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Joke of the Day
"I like to buy books, but I never read them. I just want them for my shelf."
Next Joke
"The only 'B' word you should ever call a woman is ""beautiful""... ...because bitches love it when you call them ""beautiful"""
"Wife still out of town. I'm afraid if I order Dominos again they will call child services."
"What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user? They both can't even."
"Apparently, saying ""Wow, you've grown since I last saw you"" isn't deemed socially acceptable when said to adults."
"[talking with ex] Me: Is he more boring than me? Her: He is. Me: *devastated* How could you?"
"Want to hear a joke about Jonestown? Nevermind, the punchline is too long."
"The word you're trying to think of is ""Patronizing""."
"Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Use your best judgment with a centaur."
"I once asked a Welshman how many sexual partners he had had in his life but never got an answer. He kept falling asleep whilst counting sheep."