200432

Joke of the Day

"Apparently, saying ""Wow, you've grown since I last saw you"" isn't deemed socially acceptable when said to adults."

"Why is SAE not that racist? Because some of their best friends are black... for halloween!"

"""Oh hey there, didn't recognize you with your cap on,"" I say flirtatiously to my toothpaste."

"Einstein's mother asks him ""are you happy."" Einstein replies ""relatively."""

"Why was Hitler a great comedian? Cuz you can't spell slaughter without laughter"

"My Girlfriend told me she had an STD Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship now."

"""Superman gets morning steel. That's hot."" Filed under things I think about while having my coffee."

"I'm Torn on the Issue of Abortion.... On one hand, I support it because it is killing babies. On the other hand, it gives women a choice. Credit goes where credit's due, /u/DJ-Salinger"

"What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup? Cancer. ( )"

"Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately."