155277

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who accidentally took a ride on a dolphin? He's not sure if he did it on porpoise."

"Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the leper colony ? Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out."

"Abortions are so fun It really brings out the kid in you"

"Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?"

"Did you hear Seinfeld on political correctness? He really went on the offensive about it."

"What do you call a powerful, asshole-ish potato? A dick-tater."

"Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10? Because windows 7 8 9"

"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"

"*throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*"

"They should make another Taken film about how unappreciative Neesons' family is for saving them every other day Taken 4: Granted."