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Joke of the Day

"They should make another Taken film about how unappreciative Neesons' family is for saving them every other day Taken 4: Granted."

"A man purchases a new dress for his wife... ...he goes home as fast as possible so he can give it to her before fashions change."

"The best thing about sharing a king sized bed with your spouse is that if you move far enough away it feels like you're completely alone."

"When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps."

"I want you to be completely honest with me as long as you're only pointing out my strengths."

"Why can't you give a balloon to Elsa? Because she'll Let It Go."

"Superman and Batman probably had a lot of ""capes in the toilet water"" accidents when they went to take a dump."

"Knock Knock? Who is there? Willis. Willis who? Willis d**k fit in your mouth?"

"You guys ever seen a cockatoo? Yeah? I bet you have."

"If you touch your computer in all the right places... You can turn it on"