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Joke of the Day

"I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying ""I gave you one yesterday."""

"You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store."

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The Wheelchair"

"Today is the 1 year anniversary of the day i decided to get sober. And tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I decided sobriety wasn't for me."

"Wanna hear my joke about the beach? I'm shore you'll like it"

"Why did the Snowman pull his pants down? Because the snowblower was coming."

"A man walks into a bar... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA"

"Thought of this joke a few years ago and thought id share it with you beautiful people Why cant bulimics be pitchers in baseball? Because they always throw up"

"I tried cocaine once It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"