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Joke of the Day

"I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying ""I gave you one yesterday."""

"1 rabbit can make 1,000+ babies in its life DATE: how do you know that *shouting over deafening hopping sounds from the attic* INTERNET"

"What do Auschwitz, Treblinka, and Sobibor have in common? Tons of koffing spawns."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... It feels great, until you look down and realize you're gay."

"Stuppidly offencive A bus full of Sunny women is like a box of chacklet, You never no what your going to get."

"The Kama Sutra has announced a new sex position called The Plumber: You stay in all day and nobody comes!"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today... Sounds fun. Dozen Tit?"

"it's impossible to own two weiner dogs because that's a paradachshund"

"H: ""Whatcha doing?"" Me: ""Going on twitter to hang out."" H: ""Twitter is an app, not a place."" Me: *whispers venomously* ""Is too a place!!"""

"Finding Nemo 2? I swear, if that kid gets lost again Finding Nemo 3 better be where child services locks the dad up for extreme negligence."