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Joke of the Day
"I went to the funeral of the man who invented the throat lozenge. There was no coffin."
Next Joke
"I think my gran has Alzheimer's. She called me Dave earlier when my name is Carson. Either that or she's thinking of someone else while we're having sex."
"Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents."
"Why can't T-Rex's Hi-Five each other? Because they are dead."
"Wyclef Jean has been hospitalized for fatigue and I know how he feels. I've been tired of his ass for years."
"8 out of every 5 people are mathematically illiterate"
"So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar Just kidding"
"I told my wife I was going to the toilet. She said, ""Don't forget to spray."" Now there's piss everywhere."
"If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too."
"A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The police officer"