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Joke of the Day

"Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents."

"What's the difference between a cowardly sex offender and your job? Your job will always suck"

"What do you call a furiously masturbating dinosaur? A Velocifapper."

"What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !"

"How does Jackie Chan karate chop things over there? AYA!!"

"There are two rules for success... 1. Never reveal everything that you know."

"What is the vampire's favorite slogan? Please Give Blood Generously."

"""Ooh, a new friend request...who the hell is Iqbal???"""

"If children refuse to sleep during nap time... ...are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm."