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Joke of the Day

"I'm putting ""open bar"" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers."

"Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""we don't serve your type here."""

"Why did the unicycle win the race? Because the bicycle was two tired."

"*live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes."

"Today's workout. Light weights. 1 hour parkouring rooftops on my block. It's surprising how many people have skylights in their bathrooms."

"The Philadelphia eagles Punchline in title."

"I just ate so much Chinese food that now I'm able to use algorithms based on linear algebra to solve large numerical systems."

"How does a Welshman find sheep in tall grass? Irresistible."

"What do you call a fresh creme pie? Creme fraiche"

"I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you."