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Joke of the Day

"*live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes."

"A dog is a man's best friend. Don't belive me? Put your wife in the trunk, put your dog in the trunk, wait a couple of hours. After open the trunk and looks who's happy to see you"

"Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country? Because opposite poles attract"

"A good pickup line is ""I have a phone charger."""

"A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider."

"Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? It said Focus."

"When I Grow Up When I grow up I want to be like Prince... Dead."

"Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform? So the Marine have something to hold on to."

"*queen points out window* ""what's that flashing out the window?"" ""Lightning, My Queen"" *car busts thru window* DID I HEAR LIGHTNING McQUEEN"

"Have you heard about the man with five penises? His underwear fit like a glove."