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Joke of the Day

"60th birthday Last year my mother should have been celebrating her 60th birthday, but because of drugs, alcohol and many hard years of addition. we all forgot..."

"Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you've only fucked yourself."

"Why isn't Kanye West allowed in rural Pennsylvania? An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of."

"Why don't chicken coops have Four doors? because then they would be Chicken sedans"

"I approve of free range parenting the meat just tastes better."

"There are two muffins in an oven. The one muffin says to the other one, ""Woah, a silent muffin!"""

"I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bruce ! Bruce who ? I Bruce easily don't hit me !"

"Call me crazy but you can't follow, star, retweet, and trophy me and then act surprised when I show up to your house in a wedding dress."

"What kind of underwear does John Grisham use? Pelican Briefs I'll go find a bridge"