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Joke of the Day

"If your BF wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day"

"What do you say to a man with no body and no nose? No body nose."

"Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public. They could call it Marco Rubio."

"Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights"

"I invited a friend over after school. I told my mom he's my brother from another mother. My parents are now in the divorce process."

"Why shouldn't you use red, white, and blue paint in a watercolor? Because these colors don't run"

"What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters? Truth or Darren Wilson."

"April showers bring May flowers. And car bombs, suicide bombers, beheadings, etc. Tis the season."

"So..I just broke up with Jim. We were just not working out."

"""Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."" ""Why not?"" [fakes a sore throat] ""I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."""