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Joke of the Day

"""Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."" ""Why not?"" [fakes a sore throat] ""I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."""

"How do ya get a fag to fuck a woman? Shit in her pussy"

"""Internet pretty"" angled profile photos that disguise the ugly truth."

"A solipsist posts on a forum In his thread, he asks, ""Anyone else out there a solipsist?"" After a day of no replies He thinks to himself, ""I guess it's just me!"""

"Candy cigarettes are a gateway drug to rock candy."

"If there were no bad parents there would be no good strip clubs."

"I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32. They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools."

"John Cena Bum buh duh dum. Bum buh duh dum."

"Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me."

"""I know it doesn't look good on paper, but hear me out guys, Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!!!!"""