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Joke of the Day
"What sis Selenium say to Xenon? U SeXe."
Next Joke
"*gets handed a Mario Kart controller at a party* I don't know guys, I've never done this before. *straps on monogrammed driving gloves*"
"If Captain America's shield is vibranium, then... Hawkeye's shield is Quicksilver"
"[hits rock bottom] rock bottom : *calls 911 for being assaulted*"
"what should you never say to a bossy person planning the funeral of a loved one ""who died and put you in charge?"""
"My iPhone auto-corrected ""wish you were here"" to ""wish you were beer"" and I sent it anyways."
"I got the opportunity to taste some Wookiee steak today It was a little Chewie."
"I like my women how I like my coffee... Bought online."
"Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat."
"My wife accused me of having uncontrollable OCD.' I put her in her place."