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Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a gay joke.... butt fuck it"

"I will show you a picture on my phone, but if you swipe right or left, I will break your finger."

"EARTH: Let's just be friends MOON: Ok I understand [circles the earth for 4 billion years]"

"Look I see that you love me and would die for me, but this guy over here barely notices me and has a GF. I'll play the odds. -Woman logic"

"Currently eating organic raspberries that I didn't wash over my kitchen sink, in case any ladies out there dig the whole ""bad boy"" persona."

"Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals? Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away."

"Breaking news: We can all tell Kanye something Because we're still waiting for him to get his money right"

"Did you hear about the Energizer Bunny? A judge charged him with battery."

"Wanted to get a Ham sandwich, but ended up with a Cheese one by mistake. oops, wrong sub."

"They released a new study on marriage It's the number one cause of divorce"