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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump has Muslim friends, Rick Santorum has gay friends, Ted Cruz has imaginary friends. #GOPDebate"

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"""Sir, is this gluten free?"" The waiter nods happily ""Great,"" I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, ""I'm building a gluten fort!"""
"How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb? Who says it's dark?"
"Today is ""bring your dog to work day"". I thought it was ""bring your dawg to work day"". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg"
"I ate an optimist once, but I couldn't keep him down"
"The bassist walked past the bar."
"I'm unsure how I feel about my new mirror... ...I just haven't had time to reflect yet. www.ChippedBeefOnToast.com"
"Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire? Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire."
"What do you do if a 4 year old girl catches you masturbating? Untie her"
"Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away."
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