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Joke of the Day

"Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea."

"I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time."

"Just farted in my cat's face. That's what we call a power move, gentlemen."

"Unexpected sex that's a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison..."

"How do you know if a blonde has been in the refrigerator? There's lipstick on the cucumbers."

"Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? Chronic depression makes the meat a little tangy."

"Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall."

"I give up drinking for good. ... ... ... Now, I drink for evil."

"A man walks into a bathroom and slips on a turd.. Another man approaches and says ''are you alright mate? I just did that''"

"I enjoy much more playing lots of videogames then having sex with Emma Watson.. In that particular order."