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Joke of the Day

"I want my headstone to read ""loving wife, evil dictator""."

"Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police? Because the g is silent"

"I can't get hard unless I can hear a gluten intolerant person weeping over a menu."

"WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?"

"Sea lions are faster than humans on both land and sea, so if you face one in a triathlon, you really need to make up time on the cycling."

"how do you know when a computer geek likes you? he looks at your feet instead of his own..."

"I got 99 problems and each of them is being able to make relevant pop culture references."

"Did you hear about the blonde who froze to death at the drive in theater? She went to see Closed for the winter."

"PSA: Always tip your prostitutes. Small tips are fine. That's what they get paid for."

"If Reddit up/down voting were to be applied in real life as an immediate feedback of the spoken word crowed subway trains would be a much quieter place."