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Joke of the Day

"PSA: Always tip your prostitutes. Small tips are fine. That's what they get paid for."

"Why did the professional poker player season his meat with marijuana? Because he wanted his steaks high."

"Pros and Cons of Easter Pro: Eating a chocolate bunny that's hollow inside. Con: Looking in the mirror and realising you're the same."

"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."

"JESUS: [walks on water] JUDAS: Actually, the body is 60% water so it's only 40% miracle JESUS: You're killing me, Judas JUDAS: Actually.."

"Almost every McDonalds A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'."

"Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare."

"Did you know that every frog used to have at least some polish genes? In fact, they were a tad-pole."

"Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a face off in the corner"

"Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it"