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Joke of the Day

"I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it. Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds."

"some people want youtube to host the VMAs next year... i think there'd be too many ads :/"

"Him: What? I couldn't understand you. Me: gnbkfshbffjjg H: What?! Me: GNBKFSHBFFJJG! H: Damnit Aimee! Take the burrito out of your mouth!"

"I find girls tend to make a lot noise in their bedroom Perhaps they aren't expecting someone to be at their window."

"What do ducks smoke? Qwack"

"My young nephew said that people with glasses should only be able to marry other people with glasses. He's like a tiny Republican senator."

"Wife: What did you get me for Mother's Day? 3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it? 3: You haven't made it yet."

"How do scientists freshen their breaths? Ex*spearmints*"

"2 peanuts walk into a bar... One was a salted"

"How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: *rocks boat* Her: Hey! Me: *rocks faster* Her: Can we PLEASE go steady? Me: I do."