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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and one will see you in a while."

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"What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico? Baby cedar"
"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest actually accomplishes something after it's triggered."
"Damn son are you a girl? BECAUSE OTHERISE WHY YOU NO DOCTAH YET?!"
"If you die in the shower when you're shampooing do the police have to finish rinsing when they find you or is that the ME's job. Is it a job"
"The teacher asks little Timmy why he brought his cat into school... and he replied, "" My daddy said to my mommy he's going to eat that pussy tonight!"""
"You're probably naked under all those clothes. You slut."
"This crime scene tape strung between two lampposts is NOT the finish line & these policemen are NOT cheering me on to a glorious victory :("
"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."
"Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night... She stood him up."
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