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Joke of the Day

"Why is dyslexia so bad? It looks like daily sex to me."

"FRIEND: Just let her down easy ME: Ok [later] ME: *jumping in bouncy castle* I WANT A DIVORCE, KAREN"

"Some dude at ASU named Dean has me on his list. Honestly, I don't appreciate or understand it. Thinking about contacting the authorities."

"My girlfriend just told me she has a STD... I'm Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship"

"How do you know you're in a modern art museum? If you need to ask if the bench is an art piece."

"Sorry I didn't text you back, but my body is like 70% water and I really didn't want to mess up my phone."

"What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy"

"My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted."

"Why can't an orphan play baseball? It couldn't find home"

"What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forest1"