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Joke of the Day

"""Going to a job interview? Wear a beret..."" ""A beret?"" ""Yeah. They've been statistically proven to help you get a job by a million percent."" ""Right...and who did this study?"" ""....France."""

"My wife asked me if I was going to take a shower before we go to some friend's house for the evening like she didn't see me get in the pool."

"I like to get up early on Sundays, have my coffee, watch the sunrise, and pretend everyone else died of polio."

"There is 3 types of people in this world... People who are good at maths, and people who aren't."

"There's no I in team But there are quite a few of them in Multiple Personality Disorder"

"Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxis."

"How do you take a selfie with a goat?"

"""Your word is their..."" ""Your word is their,"" said the spelling bee judge. The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence. ""They're looking for their dog over there,"" replied the judge."

"sticks and stones may break my bones but if you say the right words i'd probably break my own bones too"

"Why don't women wear skirts in the winter? Ever try and peel apart a cold grilled cheese sandwich?"