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Joke of the Day

"I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? ""Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"""

"Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness."

"I pulled on a door that says push. Cause I don't let a fuckin door tell me what to do."

"I turn heads every time I go to work Makes sense, I'm a chiropractor."

"What did John and Yoko say when their son wouldn't eat his vegetables? ""All we are saying is give peas a chance."""

"What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones? Twitter only allows 140 characters."

"Fairly Fairness A butch, a bitch and a snitch all come together at the ""Pretty Rainbow People Bar."" The Butch complains, ""ugh all those itches"" :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D FUKKEN LOLZ Downvote for cash!"

"A Bug's Mind What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he crashes into a windshield? His asshole."

"1997: Skynet becomes self-aware 2029: T-1s are sent to kill Sarah Connor 2034: Warranty expires on T-1s. 99% of them break down within hours"