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Joke of the Day

"McDonald's Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug."

"I asked the barista for a Nyquilatte. He was really hairy, like a werewolf. A ""wereista"" if you will. I may have already had some Nyquil."

"[1994] The rejected Spice Girl, Pumpkin, sobs outside the studio. Little does she know that in 20 years their fans will love her the most."

"""Those who can't do, teach..."" And those who can't teach... [teach gym.](/spoiler)"

"I accidentally sent my essay to the 3D printer... it came out as a piece of shit"

"I quit my band, 1023MB, the other day... We never had a Gig."

"A CEO of a large gas station chain was arrested this morning He was running a shell corporation."

"What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad."

"If you have a dollar.. you're a billionthaire."

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's live in a homeless man's beard."