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Joke of the Day

"""I need a timing belt & power steering for my life"" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet."

"I asked an LAPD officer to tell me a joke All he said was ""Black teenagers civil rights"""

"What do you call a masturbating cow? beef stroganoff"

"What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects? dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss"

"What do you call a group of lesbians from Pittsburgh? Lesbiyinz."

"Why do LGBT men typically have their whisker-hairs depilated? So their skin won't feel so abrucive"

"What do the state of California and BDSM dungeons have in common? Nothing butt restrictions (thanks twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)"

"Scandium, Iodine, neon, corium. What is it? It's Science. UPDATE: I'm an idiot"

"In America Martin Luther King only gets one day.... And sharks get a whole week. It's probably because they are great whites."

"what type of music does a balloon hate? Pop music"