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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a masturbating cow? beef stroganoff"

"A fat person doesn't eat what's right but eats what's left."

"Laziness father to his adopted son: ""what is the limit of laziness?"" son: ""having an adopted son"""

"My leg got amputated Me: Can I take my leg home doc.? Doc.: Why? Me: Because is my right."

"A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender ""I'll have a gin...and tonic."" Bartender says ""OK, but why the pause?"" ""I was born with them."""

"My wife's sister My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off."

"The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now."

"Why did Johnny Bravo go to the pet store? To pick up some chicks."

"Why did the Baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo! (I heard this one today and thought I'd share)"

"My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi."