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Joke of the Day

"Dios mios! A: You shouldn't say the lord's name in vain! B: I'm not saying it in vain... I'm saying it in Spanish!"

"Why did the oven go back to University? To get another degree. - My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me."

"A friend that steals your tortilla chips is nacho friend."

"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and they shouldn't be aired in public."

"What do you call a religious bird? A bird of prey."

"Q: What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up? A: They went on stroke."

"Who is 'N Sync's favourite film maker? Michael Bay Bay Bay"

"What do you see when the pillsbury doughboy bends over? Doughnuts"

"Where do Star Wars rebel officers eat? The Admiral Snackbar."

"Modern art is easy to understand. If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance."