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Joke of the Day

"Desperate to get laid, so I'm going to my next Halloween party dressed as a giant anus ...I hear that hot girls love having sex with assholes"

"If at first you don't succeed... try try being redundant."

"I went to see Walt Disney on ice It was a bit disappointing, just an old bloke in a freezer."

"Send message without subject? Yes, Gmail. f$ck off."

"I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption ""it's cold"" could you tell me more about that"

"When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"Ambien: Where is your unicorn? Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok."

"Laugh at something on your phone and wait for me to ask what it is. See your grandchildren grow old. Witness the death of the sun."

"What do you get when you get in a fight with the Los Angeles Lakers lead point scorer? Kobe beef"

"Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them."