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Joke of the Day

"My goal in life is always turn the negative into the positive... which is why I lost my job at the HIV clinic"

"Why can't you trick an aborted baby? (NSFL/NSFW) Because it wasn't born yesterday."

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!"

"My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent animal! Not really it took the cat three weeks to teach him."

"A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, ""Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!"" The toad yells back, ""Naw man, you're in de-nile"""

"Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter? They get chapped lips"

"after decades of advertising, all we want is to feel authentic desire"

"Some Penguins Went to a Bar Waddle they do next?"

"How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food? Because he said he loves miso."

"Is there a class for just the karate noises?"