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Joke of the Day

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!"

"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards Because if they fall forward they fall in the boat dumbass."

"I decided not to invest in that seafood processing plant... ...something smelled fishy."

"Improvement One student to another: ""How are your English lessons coming along?"" ""Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."""

"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."

"Once you've seen an Elephant attacked by a lion... You've seen a maul."

"What do you call a fat man in a white t-shirt? A Man-in-a-tee."

"What do you call the history of a car? An autobiography."

"Do you have a hole in your sock? ""No ..."" *(looks at sock)* . . How'd you get your foot in it?"