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Joke of the Day
"I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet."
Next Joke
"What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie? ""Well doggone !"""
"I met this gorgeous girl on the subway... and I said to her, ""do you know the different between lunch and a blowjob"" ""no"" Ok, lets go to lunch then."
"Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda"
"What's the cheapest kind of noodle you can buy? Penne."
"A knock on the door... Hello, my name is Forbertus. I m here to fuck your daughter. Dad: For what????!!!!! Forbertus"
"Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall. We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained."
"All of these time capsules I just dug up have bodies in them?"
"What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god? Are you Thor?"
"They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever."