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Joke of the Day

"My sister bet me a $100 i couldn't build a car out of Spaghetti... You should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta!!!!"

"Person on this home improvement show said everybody needs ""a good screwing surface."" Can't argue with that logic."

"I wasn't going to buy Thrift Shop on iTunes... But it was .99 cents!"

"How do I explain to this bank teller than I'm just robbing her and not the bank?"

"Q: What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? A: The defendant."

"Yo mama's so fat.. ..that she takes a selfie in panorama"

"An autistic and a vegan walk into a bar You only know because they mention it every other sentence"

"Why do pigs like February 14th? They get lots of Valenswines."

"What did the tailor say to the fed up customer? Suit yourself."

"Accidentally called 911 Set my house on fire to not look stupid."